People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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