What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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