420 ftw
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
