Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
