So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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