So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
