So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.