no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you