Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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