I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
