I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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