you have to choose: penises or morals?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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