sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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