Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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