he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
