Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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