I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Oh god it's open bar.
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