Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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