oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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