The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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