fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
