I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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