I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So many bounce houses so little time
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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