i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
