Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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