Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
