The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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