if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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