the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i dont even know how to be here
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
