I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
