Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
