$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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