nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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