He had one of those small greek statue penises
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
