what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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