I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My ass is underappreciated
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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