I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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