And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
