What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize