lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
