I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
