I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize