i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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