you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
