my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize