it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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