your room smells of hookers.
And success
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize