dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
