You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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