So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
