i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize