We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
