I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
