some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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