Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
