called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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