I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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