He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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