just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize