Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
