at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
