Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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