I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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