Define "chronic" masturbator.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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