Do you still have your period?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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