every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
