is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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