Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
