Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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