DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How external is "for external use only"?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
