I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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