Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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